POLITICS MAKES ME CHUCK UP

What good’ll come of saying

POLITICS
PARLIAMENT2

makes me chuck up?

What good’ll come of saying

THERESA MAY
APTOPIX Britain Politics


was a fuck up?

What good’ll come of saying that

FARAGE
FARAGE2

is a prick?

What good’ll come of saying

MICHAEL GOVE
GOVE2

is a dick?

What good’ll come of saying

FUCK DOMINIC RAAB?
RAAB2

What good’ll come of saying

BORIS JOHNSON’S A NOB?
BORIS2

 

What good’ll come of saying that none of these bleeders

Make me wanna say yeah, I want you as my leader

On the road to equality, freedom, prosperity

Cos you think I’m just a peasant

With unpleasant temerity

Going off at the mouth, spittin’ out the frustration

Seeing you Muppet Show Muthas
Pissin’ over the nation

Like people are nothing
Once their votes have been courted

Then it’s back to your game of thrones
To see your enemies thwarted

Like

EMPEROR PALPATINE
PALPATINE

wanting UNLIMITED POWER

But if someone’s got a

MILKSHAKE
MILKSHAKE

then you run, hide and cower

 
Don’t get the wrong message

This aint a whinge from the left

OBI WAN CORBYN
corbyn

He’s lost a lot of his heft


So who do I follow, I ask from the mic

When I feel I like wanna see
ALL of your heads on a spike

What do I do now, lose heart?
Get depressed?

Guess I’m just spillin’ words
To get this shit off my chest
 
But what good’ll come of saying

POLITICS
PARLIAMENT1

makes me chuck up?

What good’ll come of saying

THERESA MAY
theresa-may1

was a fuck up?


What good’ll come of saying that

FARAGE
FARAGE1

is a prick?

What good’ll come of saying

MICHAEL GOVE
ASCL Annual Conference 2014

is a dick?

What good’ll come of saying

FUCK DOMINIC RAAB?
RAAB3

What good’ll come of saying

BORIS JOHNSON’S A NOB?
BORIS1


What good’ll come of it
in the final analysis

If the future is a patient
Too far gone for dialysis?

What good’ll come of keepin’ on
Fightin’ and workin’

If the future is y’all
Circle jerkin’ while

BORIS IS TWERKIN’
tweerkin

Hurtin’

ANGELA MERKEL’S SAD TEARFUL SOUL
Angela-Merkel

She don’t wanna see that

GHERKIN
GHERKIN

Being shoved in your hole

This verse is better than
All of you fools
Trying to get to the top


Unlike your self-serving bullshit
At least it comes to a stop.

‘King terrible weather outside but SILLY KINGS rule the night!

To follow up my previous blog  https://willdeanford.wordpress.com/2013/12/18/silly-kings-dress-rehearsal-at-cardiff-castle/ the temperature inside the spiegeltent was fine. Outside, the torrential rain and howling wind assailed the structure, part of which looked like this from the inside

Image

filled with an audience that looked like this Image

And the rain hammered away ferociously on the tent but there was no stopping the silly and spectacular show going on, with a joyously enthusiastic multi-tasking cast, each playing various parts, singing, dancing, rapping, and storytelling their way through a madcap array of tales woven around a semi-traditional framing device about a Princess and Prince who wanted to marry for love (semi traditional because in this little world, the little girl defeats the monster under her bed without help and the Fairies ruled by their mean King in one segment form a Union to defeat him and Llamas dance their tails off).

Fun and silliness and strangeness throughout, enjoyed loads by the audience, see here: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.251547651670226.1073741830.127387044086288&type=1

Anyway, the dress rehearsal fought the weather and defeated it and the audience, including me, had to battle the elements too en route to Cardiff Castle but ultimately, the stormy night was easily vanquished by the fun to be had. Tonight the run proper begins. Go get some silly 🙂

Tooting my own horn: READING TONIGHT and Dojo video Facebook event

Christmas Horn Icon

At the Andrew Buchan Bar in Roath, Cardiff…From 7pm, Julie Pritchard presents a night of Winter Themed story and verse for her latest Rhyme and Real Ale event. Real Ale not compulsory…

I will be doing much of what I did at the Bridgend Arts’ Christmas Festival (see blog with megaphone photo below) plus writing a new piece today to read. I like the idea that came to me that a snowflake is ‘Snowman DNA’ so I will try to get that in there somewhere.

The facebook event for the Dojo Christmas video, please join and share 🙂   https://www.facebook.com/events/189270264610343/

 

 

A Very Morrissey Christmas

Image

As part of my performance at the Bridgend Arts Christmas Festival (see previous blog for Link) I will be parodying the voice and attitude of this gentleman via the following words…

Oh…Santa Claus! Take your claws out of me,,,I hate you and I don’t eat meat…you’re too Christmassy for Morrissey,,,Oh, oh oh oh, sometimes when I sing I say oh oh oh …other times you’ll hear me say no no no, oh, ho ho ho…Oh…Saint Nicholas, the red suit makes you look ridiculous, but don’t take it off or you might end up knickerless, which no one wants to see, Oh…Santa Claus! Take your claws out of me,,,I hate you and I don’t eat meat…I hate you and I don’t eat meat…I hate you…Ho ho ho Santa Claus!

Evil Cupid (extract) and full measure of Booze related lines

The opening words of my long form poem Cupid’s Evil Twin…

Cupid’s Evil Twin

Fires poison tipped arrows

Into the hearts

Of the lonely

On every cold night

Whispers to the lonely that

There must be something wrong with you

‘Cause everybody else has got

Somebody to hold tonight…

One I sing (a capella) to the tune of Puttin’ on the Ritz:

Going on the Piss

The Weekend, what do you do
From choices, open to you
You select this…

Going on the piss

You may feel more confidence
Even if, you talk nonsense
Because of this…

Going on the piss

Drink until you stupefy or slumber
Or get knocked down get up again

Like Chumba…Wumba

Wandering from bar to bar
Feeling like a mega star
No boos or hiss…

You’re a little pissed

Another glass or maybe two
Someone’s an ass, it’s never you
We all insist…

When we’re feeling pissed

Drink until you feel the sleep of reason
Kill the line between obnoxiousness and teasing

Eyes on stalks, pop from your head
Did you see the one in red?
Lips made to kiss…

But don’t forget you’re pissed

You saunter over with a grin
Bit too wide, unsettling
Ignorance is bliss…

“Romantically” pissed

Looking at breasts, think you’re being subtle
But there’s no argument, defence, rebuttal, butt-hole

She knows that you scoped her jugs
Don’t assume, women are mugs,
When it comes to this…

They know they have tits

She looks you, right up and down
That’s not a pout, that is a frown
Awkward moment this…

Going on the piss

Still, drunkenly, you hope she’ll want to blow you
Truth is that she doesn’t want to know you,

Go you

Stagger home, get a kebab
try your best, not to get stabbed
Or a glasgow kiss…

Going on the piss…