A bit of Christmas silly from me (performance pieces)

On The Thirteenth Day Of Christmas…

Partridge in a Pear Tree Christmas Stamp : Stock Photo

Over the twelve days of Christmas 

My true love sent to me…

12 Drummers Drumming…22 Pipers Piping…30 Lords a Leaping…36 Ladies Dancing…40 Maids a Milking…42 Swans a Swimming…42 Geese a Laying…40 Golden Rings…36 Calling Birds…30 French Hens…22 Turtle Doves and 12 Partridges in 12 Pear Trees…leading to…a very awkward phone call…

Hello…um…yes it did arrive…um…you do know I live in a one bedroom upstairs flat? Well, it’s getting a bit…crowded…um…yes…yes…we are on a break…

Royalty-Free Images: Stained Glass Portrait Of Joseph And Mary

Approximately 2014 years ago…Mary has just given Joseph some unexpected news…

Joseph: Now then, Mary…let me get my head around this…you’re pregnant?

Mary: Yes

Joseph: Well, we both know I’m not the father…And…you say…you received a message…in a dream…from God

Mary: Yes

Joseph: And God told you that you would give birth to his son..who will grow up to be the Saviour of Mankind…

Mary: Yes

Joseph: But God didn’t do the necessary business himself..he sent an angel in his stead…and this Angel of The Lord…Came upon you…

Mary: Yes And after this Angel of The Lord…came upon you…you became pregnant…with the son of God…

Joseph: And after this Angel of The Lord…came upon you…you became pregnant…with the son of God…

Mary: Yes

Joseph: And Now. To avoid awkward questions from our families. you want me to marry you. As soon as possible?

Mary: Yes

Joseph: So…you want me to marry you as soon as possible…to avoid potential social awkwardness…as a result of you being impregnated…by an Angel…on behalf of God 

Mary: Yes

Joseph: (shrugs) Yeah, i’ll go along with that

Mary: Yay! 


‘King terrible weather outside but SILLY KINGS rule the night!

To follow up my previous blog  https://willdeanford.wordpress.com/2013/12/18/silly-kings-dress-rehearsal-at-cardiff-castle/ the temperature inside the spiegeltent was fine. Outside, the torrential rain and howling wind assailed the structure, part of which looked like this from the inside


filled with an audience that looked like this Image

And the rain hammered away ferociously on the tent but there was no stopping the silly and spectacular show going on, with a joyously enthusiastic multi-tasking cast, each playing various parts, singing, dancing, rapping, and storytelling their way through a madcap array of tales woven around a semi-traditional framing device about a Princess and Prince who wanted to marry for love (semi traditional because in this little world, the little girl defeats the monster under her bed without help and the Fairies ruled by their mean King in one segment form a Union to defeat him and Llamas dance their tails off).

Fun and silliness and strangeness throughout, enjoyed loads by the audience, see here: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.251547651670226.1073741830.127387044086288&type=1

Anyway, the dress rehearsal fought the weather and defeated it and the audience, including me, had to battle the elements too en route to Cardiff Castle but ultimately, the stormy night was easily vanquished by the fun to be had. Tonight the run proper begins. Go get some silly 🙂


Tonight I will be among those watching the dress rehearsal of Silly Kings

Produced by National Theatre Wales, the show runs from 19 Dec 2013- 04 Jan 2014 and you can get booking and price info type stuff if you click this link  http://nationaltheatrewales.org/sillykings

Looking at the link wont help you, you have to click on it.

So you have even more to go on when looking for an answer to the question “Why the *^&$££ should I go and see this, eh?” keep reading these words and you will learn that the play has been adapted from the 1981 book of Fairy Tales by Monty Python’s Terry Jones.

Below you will find a picture of Mr Jones and below that a pic of the cover of Fairy Tales

Silly Kings is aimed at ‘young children and very silly adults’, so most people I know fall into the targeted demographic! I guess that if nothing else tonight I will discover whether offering the public the chance to see a play in a large ‘spiegeltent’  over the late December to early January period is a good idea temperature wise…

Tooting my own horn: READING TONIGHT and Dojo video Facebook event

Christmas Horn Icon

At the Andrew Buchan Bar in Roath, Cardiff…From 7pm, Julie Pritchard presents a night of Winter Themed story and verse for her latest Rhyme and Real Ale event. Real Ale not compulsory…

I will be doing much of what I did at the Bridgend Arts’ Christmas Festival (see blog with megaphone photo below) plus writing a new piece today to read. I like the idea that came to me that a snowflake is ‘Snowman DNA’ so I will try to get that in there somewhere.

The facebook event for the Dojo Christmas video, please join and share 🙂   https://www.facebook.com/events/189270264610343/




Reciting and Singing at the Bridgend Arts’ Christmas Festival.



Revealing Joseph’s true reaction to Mary’s impending Motherhood, the fact that people need a good stuffing at Christmas, Morrissey’s feelings about Santa, Booty, and other crucial public service announcements . Went pretty well and as a result I will be part of a comedy night in Bridgend at The Cotton Club in late January 2014. Yay 🙂

A Very Morrissey Christmas


As part of my performance at the Bridgend Arts Christmas Festival (see previous blog for Link) I will be parodying the voice and attitude of this gentleman via the following words…

Oh…Santa Claus! Take your claws out of me,,,I hate you and I don’t eat meat…you’re too Christmassy for Morrissey,,,Oh, oh oh oh, sometimes when I sing I say oh oh oh …other times you’ll hear me say no no no, oh, ho ho ho…Oh…Saint Nicholas, the red suit makes you look ridiculous, but don’t take it off or you might end up knickerless, which no one wants to see, Oh…Santa Claus! Take your claws out of me,,,I hate you and I don’t eat meat…I hate you and I don’t eat meat…I hate you…Ho ho ho Santa Claus!


I’m performing at Bridgend Arts Christmas Festival!

I’m performing at Bridgend Arts Christmas Festival!

I will be, among other ditties/verses be ‘singing’ a Morrissey parody expressing his view of Santa Claus. Many events to attend and I will be taking a camera. If you give a stuff, like 😉

The programme for the day: https://m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=460158914093832&id=327235987386126&set=pcb.556053501146210&_ft_